I really am having a terrible week at work.
Everything seems to be conspiring against me it seems. Just when I think I've got one problem solved, something rears up to totally fuck that solution up and mean I have to start all over again. Normally because someone else in the chain thinks 'pro-activity' is a fucking yoghurt, not an idea to bring into the workplace.
Truth is, a year ago I'd have gone up the wall and started back-snorting my own saliva through my nostrils by now, but I'm reasonably calm today*.
In many ways it's just down to realising there is little point in getting too stressed, yet this is not something I'd have been able to convince myself of 12 months ago.
I guess, now I'm well into the 2nd year of my 30's, that you could say a certain "pfffftiness"† comes over me when placed in situations like this - and that is quite a new feeling. No longer young and full of rage, I'm now more full of a silent disdain for the world and what it throws at me.
But I would also think that I'm just really bloody happy with my life these days. I've got a nice home to go back to, a nice person living in it with me, and generally bright and lovely prospects for my future with that nice person. So it's difficult to let the daily toils of a job that can at times be frustratingly shit really get on top of you when you know you have the good times just around the corner away from the work desk.
That said - I would still like to garrote some of the incompetent bastards I have had to speak to today with piano wire.
*I say reasonably, but of course that is still relative. I'm hardly reaching a Buddhist transcendental plain of calm, but I have only punched my seat and screamed "Aaaiiiiiiii!!!" once today.
†This is a noun I've decided to invent to better describe a feeling I sometimes have. It's kind of like a stereotypical dismissive Gallic shoulder shrug of "what can I do?" coupled with a genuine misanthropic disdain for the situation I've been put in by some incompetent human being somewhere. A 'Pfffffffft'.